“How will you find me, Chuck? I don’t have a phone or anything.”“You’re my library fairy. I’ll start there.”“OK. Sounds good. Thank you again.” She kissed me again, then before I could get out to walk her over to the door, she was gone, through the door and on the elevator.I sat down, relaxed, and sat there for a bit. The knock on my window startled me. I looked over at the Nubian Goddess, one Monica Maples, staring at me through my window. I rolled it down.“You OK with Lydia, Mr. Chambers? I’d hate to see her get hurt again. The last guy was pretty nice, until he found out she wasn’t giving him any nookie, then really an ass to her when he found out why. He actually hurt her. She just needs to find a human being, sir. Keep that in mind.”“I will, Monica. I will. See you tomorrow. Oh, if you see Lydia tonight, please don’t tell her I was down here daydreaming like a lovestruck teenager. It wouldn’t be good for my reputation.”“Actually, sir, it would. About half the campus thinks. And if I couldn't hack it, it meant two more miserable years. But it could be done by my next birthday, or it could not be done at all. It had two additional, very important benefits for me. It required me to have the help and support of my friends, so they could not cut me off from the world. And because it relied on peer support and pressure, it would work best if I had to be out in public as much as possible.The biggest downside was that it bordered on physical abuse. I was a card-carrying wimp when it came to pain, discomfort, and doing things that were not fun. This would heavily involve them all. And once started, I was committed to giving control of myself, body and soul, to someone else. Something that scared me to the core. The very something that I now realized was part of my drive to avoid commitment, to be independent no matter what the cost. There was an out. I would have a safe word. Which would stop everything and free me. But it could be used only once, then the whole.
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